Big events.

I could lie to you and write that I drove the Homecoming Queen on Saturday night. Alas the truth is more prosaic. How about five fifteen year-old girls?

Yes, that was my fate, a night of giggling behind the privacy screen, hooting at pedestrians and what felt like slam dancing. At one point I swore there was a herd of kangaroos back there.

From my one-night experience Homecoming is no more than an excuse for dressing up and going out. Not that there was any hard-core partying going on in any of The Boss’s limos.

Unsure of what to expect, I chatted with him beforehand. The problem, of course, is booze. If any of the under-age crowd (21 here in Florida) is caught drinking in the car, the driver is liable too. On nights like last Saturday the place is lousy with cops, apparently able to stop and search on the flimsiest of evidence. Whatever happened to probable cause? Oh, the young man baring his buttocks whilst holding on to a full champagne flute. Fair enough then, officer.

None of that worried me, because the young hostess’s parents were first rate. Obliged to explain the drinking in the car problem to the father as we completed the paperwork, he was with the program, having made it clear to his daughter and friends that there were to be no (illegal) shenanigans.

Off we went to dinner followed by an hour of touring the hot-spots of our coastal town, then to the dance at the science and technology museum. Surprisingly, the parents were there to meet us, a canny move I thought, making sure of good behaviour with a surprise check.

After the dance, and with heels in hand, they went to the designated sleep-over house. I was finished by 1:00 after cleaning the smallish mess in the limousine. Easy.

So that’s Homecoming. I learned that fifteen year-old girls might be close to complete women physically, but they’re really still just kids. I learned that the hot fashion this year is sequined dresses, and the hot colour is turquoise. I also learned that the best asset a kid has is two good parents, who might indulge them sometimes, but do their best to guide them through the thicket of teenage years.

Those two get my prize of the night.

Oh, and turquoise sequins will be found in the back of that limo forever, I’m certain.