Lesbo Bonk

Hetero-hijinx. Awesome.

There is a particular combination of people and circumstance that makes for a good night’s limousine driving.

The people need to be rich enough not to notice the $78 per hour rate for a car exactly like the one above. They need to be relaxed enough to be looking for a good time, so preferably they’re not going to a formal event. And they need to drink.

So it was with great happiness I collected two couples from a town an hour south, noting they were casually dressed, and came equipped with a well-provisioned cooler, to wit: beer, wine, vodka, bourbon and B&B. These folks were in for a good time.

Just how good a time became clear after the dinner stop. (We first went to a sunset drinks place, then a tiki bar, so they were fairly humming by then.) The conversation had gone from mildly rude to flat out pornographic. (It’s always interesting to note the progression of these things, and how alcohol is both a truth serum and horn-dog releaser.)

The guys were almost as keen as the women to snap photos of the wives kissing each other. Fifteen minutes of sophomoric screaming later the deed was done, the blokes had witnessed their wives demonstrate lesbonicness. Not that I saw any of this, mind you. My evidence is strictly aural, because they didn’t raise the privacy screen and I wasn’t interested in looking. It’s possible that was part of the game, to “do it” in front of the driver.

Wow, daring.

It’s amazing what people reveal when they think no-one is listening. I learnt that both the women were running commando, that they had made several novelty purchases in the sex-toy dept in the last week, and that they both wanted to buy strap-ons to “do him” so he knows what it feels like (presumably pointing at husbands.) (The husbands, for the record, weren’t keen.)

That’s the end of the tale, although they spent most of the hour home taking more pics of the women topless, bottomless, headless and – for all I know – in coitus, but I had completely lost interest by then.

Whatever it is about limousines that inspires people to get their hump on, I heartily encourage it. A $150 tip will do that to you.