Sods. Cheap bastards.

Here’s how it works: for fixed-price jobs, mostly airport runs, drivers receive a fixed amount. For hourly runs, drivers receive an hourly amount.

That’s simple enough. Where it gets sloppy is in the tipping. Because the limousine business is cut-throat, all the company websites say “gratuity included”.

Wrong. Basically it’s a ruse in which drivers are screwed at the hands of the operators. It’s an attempt to attract the marginal business that can stretch to taking a limousine rather than a taxi, as long as there are no extra costs.

It was inevitable that eventually The Boss would call me. A seemingly pleasant couple from Savannah hired us to drive them from Tampa to their beach resort. I was fortunate enough to collect them. We appeared to get along famously, and, because they were so nice, we stopped twice -that is two times in a one-hour journey – so they could have their cigarettes. No smoking in the cars, you see.

Remember that I’m on a fixed dollar reward here, so the extra hour we spent accumulating them cancer points was effectively on my dime. The gentleman was kind enough to palm me twenty dollars upon arrival, and we parted in good humour.

Now they where asking Bossman for their tip back. After checking the website, they figured I had ripped them off. They wanted me to drive to their hotel, and leave the double note with the front desk.

There’s a part of me that is happy they smoke.