Junkers

As it turns out, US car companies couldn’t survive without either overseas money or Obama money or Alan Mulally.

Fading Brands

Harry has three different brands of limousines in his stable; Lincolns, Cadillacs, and one stretch Excursion. In order, made by Ford, General Motors and Ford again. And they’re all pieces of shit.

The Lincolns are the best of the lot, but only by a small margin. Their engines are agricultural, the air-conditioning is cantankerous and overly complicated, and they all have problems with front disc rotor warping. The windscreen wipers are straight out of the 1930s. Useless.

The Cadillacs are even worse. They’re prone to stalling unexpectedly, and the check engine light is permanently illuminated. If there is a real problem under the hood, there will be no way of knowing. The worst thing is that they both have terrible front-wheel shimmy at moderate to high speeds. It must be bloody unnerving for the customers, but after telling Harry many times now, he still hasn’t fixed it.

I asked him whether he ever takes his own cars out for a test drive, and he looked at me like I was made of green slime.

I suggested to Harry that he’d be much better off with a fleet of used Lexuss (Lexii?) because they’re completely bulletproof, and supremely comfortable. Unfortunately, his hands are tied. To work in Hillsborough County, where Tampa Airport lives, limousine services can only use American branded cars.

Strange but true. The county determines what equipment the limousine entrepreneur can use.

It’s probably the only way US car companies can survive, given how they’ve been ruined by greedy unions and moronic management for so long. Like the fading politicians in the photo, Chevrolet and its cousins are deservedly dying brands.

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