What: Sedan trip from the west coast of Florida to the east coast.
When: One day last week.
Who: Eighty-eight year old woman.
Why: Returning from the vacation condo to the real home.
With: Her uncontrollable hound.
Highlight: Her inability to stop talking about how wealthy she is.
Lowlight: Increasingly flatulent dog. Seriously. After four hours, it was still outgassing.
What kept me sane: Figuring if both scents of farts were pooch originated, or whether she was playing fart tennis with the dog.
Conclusion: Old women should not be foisted upon innocent limousine drivers, cross-country jaunts are only fun with friends, and flatulent dogs should be FedExed.