Google Plays with Music

Crackle is my third favorite site from which to watch movies and tv. Faint praise.

Google Play advertises there, heavily. They are promoting something called “Google Play Music” which is a free music streaming site. Free for now I guess. The ad contains colorful cartoonish lifestyle vignettes with a voice-over.

The woman suggest that for summer fun, you should be listening to her service. Google is providing us with “free music for everything you do”. No overselling there.

We can find tunes played on “sunburnt synths.”

You should “sun out, vibe out.”

“Instead of solo kitchen karaoke, you are beach-bound…”

What in Zeus’s name is a sunburnt synth?

The implication is that Google’s desired audience is lonely, house-bound, without a plan for the summer and poor. If they were solvent, there be no need for free music, nor the fortitude to accept the awful syntax and strained cool.

Someone decided to outsource this campaign to sophomore hipsters in Brooklyn, Michigan. Even the lady reading this dross can’t mask her disdain.

Google: only really good at one thing.