Nutri-Grain

I opened the care package.

Awesome. You must be thrilled.

Oh, yeah. The Espresso Martini TimTams look amazing. But the Nutri-Grain is a disappointment.

Wha?

Well, they’ve changed the formula.

The formula?

You know how they used to be small and compact with a sugary crisp.

Sure.

Well now they’re big and bloated and bland and not sugary at all.

What happened?

Don’t know. I guess the food Nazis got to them, foisting sugary cereals on an unsuspecting breakfast crowd.

Wow. What were they thinking? Do they have it in for you?

They must have. They taste awful.

Sorry to hear that.

I know. Now I’m disappointed and have a packet of Nutri-Grain that I can’t eat.

What will you do?

Tell the kids that it’s a fabbo Aussie treat and hope they don’t notice.

Fair enough.

But I’m not happy. I wanted Nutri-Grain so badly. I love it.

I know.

They took all the good stuff out. I want crap in my breakfast cereal.

Dirt

The baseline for places like Mimi’s should include the following:

+ a welcoming greeting at the hostess/host station

+ regular cleaning of everything from the roof down

+ spotless cutlery

+ a minimum standard of cleanliness and grooming for waitstaff

+ standardized methods and timing for serving plates

+ standardized methods and timing of plate removal

+ training for staff on how to judge if a table is in a hurry or not, or

+ the ability to ask a simple question about that.

Sadly for we paying diners, the managers of this location pay little or no attention to any of these skills. This is odd, because they are all utterly within the scope – and control – of anyone who cares about consistency. Even on the worst days, with the lowest quality employees all present, the low-tide line should still meet some kind of standard.

The shame is that the food here is consistent and well prepared, which tells us that the kitchen does work to a benchmark. Pity that the visible team members vary so much.

Beany

The competitive advantage of the Local Bean is that word “local”. It appears that actual residents take coffee here, as opposed to other SK joints catering to sun-seeking interlopers. That gives this place a less stressed feel because the customers aren’t in a rush; there’s always tomorrow, which is not the case for time-limited tourists.

Important to note is the (sorta) self-service model. That changes the dynamic and the prices, which apparently suits the regulars. You won’t see lines out the door, and you will not see a check in the tens of dollars. All that is good.

The food is fine. The service is as you would expect from an owner operator who seems to know everyone. For my taste, the coffee is too weak, a shortcoming remedied by adding some number of extra espresso shots to spruce up the flavor.

Otherwise, the LB is all you’d want in a local caff…hence the name, I imagine. Three stars for now because I keep being burned by Siesta’s coffee establishments. Blame those easy-money dilettantes from up north crowding us out – we’ll take our revenge someday.